


Never

by shykia1029



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 20:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shykia1029/pseuds/shykia1029
Summary: "But you never need anything."





	Never

**Author's Note:**

> Set during 03x09

_But you never need anything_

The words play in her head, over and over, as she watches him walk away.

_But you never need anything_

“I'm fine, seriously.”

_You never_

“I just told the two of you 'cause I figured you should know. I'm not looking for a pity party.”

_Never need anything_

Later, when she leaves the cafeteria, Wallace stops her.

“You’re sure you don’t need anything?”

Veronica blinks, swallows.

“I don’t need anything.”

_Never_

The words shouldn’t bother her.

She’s Veronica Mars. No, she never needs anything. Why should she need anything?

She doesn’t need things.

Logan needed things. Lilly. His mother. Veronica.

(Apparently not enough on that one)

And look where that got him.

Lianne needed things. Alcohol. Rehab. Money.

Look how that worked out for her.

“I can put off this assignment.”

Veronica doesn’t need that. She declines.

_You never need_

“You sure?”

_Anything_

“Go.”

When she gets out of the shower, face scrubbed of tears, she’s angry at herself.

She’s Veronica Mars and crying in the shower accomplishes nothing and Veronica Mars does not do things that accomplish nothing.

Veronica Mars does not cry in the shower.

She’d promised herself, after the last time she’d stood in her shower and cried, years ago, that she would never do it again.

That morning, she’d pulled off her long white dress, turned on the water, scrubbed her entire body until her skin was raw, and cried under the spray until the water had gone cold.

Then she’d gotten out and stared at herself naked in the mirror and promised herself never again. Never again was anyone going to make Veronica Mars do something as stupid and pointless as stand in the shower and cry until the water goes cold.

She sits in bed, hair wet, and starts an email draft. Then she deletes it without sending it. Writes another.

“I want you. Isn’t that enough?”

Delete.

“I know I don’t say it but I love you, what about that, is that enough?”

Delete.

“Why do you need me to need you, anyway?”

Delete.

“Why do you even want me to need you? If I don’t need you then I’m with you because I want you, isn’t that better?”

Delete.

“I want to be enough.”

Delete.

“I do ne”

Delete.

She thinks about the times when she has needed things.

Locked in a refrigerator, needing her father to rescue her before she burned alive.

Helping her boyfriend run away with another girl’s baby, needing their crazy plan to work.

On a roof, a taser against her neck, trying desperately to get a message to Logan and needing him to come.

The worst days of her life.

“Is that what you want? For me to feel like I did on the worst days of my life?”

Delete.

“You came up to the roof but maybe next time you won’t.”

Delete.

“If I need you what am I going to do when you don’t come?”

Delete.

“If I need you what am I going to do when you leave?”

Delete.

“I do need”

Delete.

She curls up in her bed and hugs her pillow to her chest.

_You never_

She has missed calls from Mac and Wallace.

_Never need_

Logan grins at her from the background on her phone.

_Need anything_

She should change it.

_You never need anything_

She stares at his grin and his eyes and _him _and needs him so badly she thinks she might scream.


End file.
